Black Aoud Montale cologne - a fragrance for men 2. When first I was sent this vial - I was under the impression it was for women – rose, aoud, and it was only when I read the schizzle about this fragrance that I realised it was for Gentlemen (and indeed Highwaymen such as myself). So as a man I resolved to give it a go, with no great compunction. Allow me to now take you on a strange and disconcerting journey…. Twilight Zone of Black Aoud.

Sitting at home in London on my rich Arabian carpet watching a re- run of The Hunt for Red October, I opened a small tester vial of this elixir and applied a smidgeon of the oily golden nectar to my wrist in a rather nonchalant manner. My mind was occupied by Sean Connery playing a Russian Submariner captain with a Scottish accent and so I was completely taken by surprise when my senses were shook to their foundations as the agarwood essence drifted and enveloped me in a sensual fragrant silken shroud, the deep scarlet roses offering me a bouquet of sheer intoxication for the soul. Immediately I felt my hippocampus stop tensing and relax, my amygdala soothed by this exotic presence.

My mind wandered far from Mr Connery, and I was taken on a day dream to another place and time: Baghdad and the 1. Watch River Of No Return Online Full Movie. Arabian Nights – there was Ali Baba and his Forty Thieves, Sinbad, Aladdin, the Genie and his Lamp.

There was I drifting in a patchouli and mandarin dream over the Mosques, Madrassas and Minarets of Baghdad at night under a crescent moon and starry sky – the city below, a thousand years ago, lit up with a luminous labdanum luminescence and a delicate white hue. Aoud filled my nostrils, I tasted the heavy black rose petals on my tongue and my magic carpet set me drifting inexorably into the palatial quarters of the most chaste and virtuous Princess Shehrazad – adorned in the finest silks and gold laying on cushions of velvet and sequins. I could smell the Aoud and it emboldened me like a lion.

The roses and patchouli intoxicated her with their insidious nature as Shehrazad graciously offered me her humus and falafels… and yes, I can confirm - her Maqluba was fit for a prince. The Aoud got stronger and stronger, melding with my superb aromatic armpits. The roses enveloped us in their sublimity. We fell to the carpet, rolling like thunder in a Black Aoud embrace, each hug and roll so passionate that it was painful, a stabbing like shards of glass into your hands, face, chest and feet. After one almighty flash of pain, I suddenly came to.

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I was staring at the ceiling light bulb … the movie The Hunt for Red October had finished, - the end credits quietly rolling. The fridge door was open, its contents spilled as if a struggle had ensued. My Penguin Classics of the One Thousand and One Arabian Nights in tatters. I found myself lying rolled up in my Arabian carpet, doused in Black Aoud, the tester’s glass shattered, its broken fragments and shards of glass crushed under my bloodied half naked body, smeared in copious amounts of humous.